Journeying with Pink Elephants
Shalom!
As I’m preparing for this upcoming workshop, I’m getting clearer as I am applying the content to myself. For me, I wanted to really focus on allowing the enrollment process to unfold, doing some proper hishtadlut and allowing Gd to do what Gd does best- whatever Gd wants .
With 16+ years of workshops, I know already that it is quite easy for me to personalize and attach to outcomes. I wanted to find a calmer clearer approach to enrollment and be kinder to my tendencies of getting in my own head. It’s been working well, though lately I find these crazy pink elephants dancing in my head again. I think sharing and actually applying what we’ll be discussing will be constructive.
This workshop we will be using Vulnerability as a path towards Surrender. The path is made up of 5 steps Vulnerability, Acceptance, Trust, Letting go & Surrender. I must knowingly & courageously choose to occupy these spaces to affect any real change. ( This is essentially in the building blocks of any transformational work or therapy) I’ll be speaking a bit personally about myself but I think we can all relate in some way to ‘pink elephants’ The things we rather not think about but do. 🙂
Bringing chaos to order, with reflection, courage, & choice.
Acknowledging Vulnerability- Enrolling participants is work. It’s being vulnerable and putting your content out there for the world to see and the world will respond in whatever magical way it does. It is engaging hundreds or thousands of people by opening and exposing yourself to every ‘yes’ or ‘ no’ , ‘not yet’, or ‘too expensive’ or ‘sounds great but…’ I decided when I booked this workshop that with Siyata dishmaya I will depersonalize more and keep the attachments to a minimum. I'm quite talented in taking things personally so I have had quite the ride in feeling my way through. I find myself being pulled to stress, not wanting to stress, and stressing anyway. Just try not stressing about pink elephants! SO a vulnerability I’ll courageously acknowledge is “I feel stress about pink elephants.” ( special shoutout to all those who have stressed about pink elephants with me, much respect.)
Practice Acceptance- The next stop on this rollercoaster towards surrender is choosing to accept. Acceptance of myself, flaws and all, in the face of or with my vulnerability. Can I accept (receive and acknowledge) that my purpose goes beyond just filling & facilitating workshops and making a buck? Can I accept that my stress about pink elephants doesn't make me any less worthy; Can I shift focus to accepting myself as being enough anyway. Can I even meet my resistance to acceptance with acceptance? Can I accept myself more fully, without judgment or reservation? Can I embrace my vulnerabilities and recognize that they don't diminish my worth? Can I declare “I can accept myself even when I feel stress about pink elephants.”
Embrace Trust- Assuming I can accept myself and acknowledge my vulnerability, can I then trust the process? Can I trust & rely enough to navigate through the doubts and fears that are sprinkled along the way? For me, I need to trust that inner ‘I’ , the one that's watching the show, the one with the real capacity to stop the spin. Trusting and putting stock in the one that breathes and the breath itself helps exhale more doubt and inhale the trust. He has been doing a great job so far but can he trust himself THROUGH whatever thought pattern he carries? Can he trust that he is moving to a better state while he is acknowledging, accepting and affirming elements of his inner vulnerable world? Trust is that space where there is a clear unequivocal YES, just as much as a clear definitive NO. To embrace myself to a point where “I can trust myself even when I stress about pink elephants.”
Let go & Allow- With so many pink elephants dancing around the next step towards surrender consists of letting go. ) Can the facilitator and workshop leader (or business executive or real estate mogul) let go of the world of words that spin in his head and simply be a father to his daughter. Can I let go of the constant chatter in my mind and simply be present for my daughter? To let go that whatever the drama of the day is, it is a blip in a life story between father and child. Yes, we leverage reality in order to let go of fantasy. To let go of what he thinks should and allow what could. Can I let go of expectations and allow life to unfold as it will? Can I let go of the pink elephants that have already waltzed away or don’t even exist ;) Letting go, Trust, Acceptance- all sounds very vulnerable indeed.
Step into Surrender- Those that have walked this path know that there is an unknowable mystery to life. To be real, I have no idea what is going to happen with this workshop other than it will be perfectly imperfect and okay. I accept & trust that. I think doing this for this long helped me develop a muscle that there is a divine unknowable order to life and that is Who or What governs every-thing. So I’ll choose a faithful-ness to my faith and hopefully have a taste of surrender. I enjoy the idea of relinquishing our ego-driven desires and allowing ourselves to be guided by a higher power. It brings me pleasure in knowing that these pink elephants are really just more arrows that are there to show me the way back home. To surrender to the great mystery of what actually happens if I’m okay? Quite the possibility to Surrender after letting go into trust & acceptance through Vulnerability.
Vulnerability, Acceptance, Trust, Letting Go, Surrender
What is amazing for me is as I work through these steps I find how the application is doctoring to my system. Yes, I know the pink elephants will be back, tomorrow it may look like a flamingo, and perhaps the next day it will be a big purple dinosaur, such is the nature of things. The workshop will happen iyH and life will go on. I think though it is up to me to make it meaningful & perhaps use it as a way to share the inner workings of another human. And if it helps me be a bit kinder to myself, so I can be more compassionate, patient, and loving, I’m sure my daughter will agree that it is time well spent.
WIth Gratitude and Humility,
-Moshe Haim
