Dear Wounded Ego,

BS’D

Shalom!

Let's get raw & tender,

I offer something I have long withheld—a permission, a release, a breath that’s been hidden for far too long. I see you, the clenched tight fist around the pain, an armor against the heartbreaks, betrayals, and the echoes of those who have walked away & left. The past, old scars, the grief—they’ve lingered, haven’t they? Like shadows that refuse to fade, they’ve stayed with you, entwined with your every thought, every reaction, every wound. I assume after some time it gets a bit cozy in the dark.

Let’s do something different, let’s turn the light on or at least reveal what’s beyond the veil. To demystify the shadow is to name them, face them, and see them for what they truly are.

The inner coping nihilist may jump in—you may say, like any good Torah Jew, like the words of Shlomo Hamelech in Kohelet 1:3: “What advantage is there for man in all his toil that he toils under the sun in this world?” מַה־יִּתְר֖וֹן לָֽאָדָ֑ם בְּכׇ֨ל־עֲמָל֔וֹ שֶֽׁיַּעֲמֹ֖ל תַּ֥חַת הַשָּֽׁמֶשׁ

Rav Steinsaltz explains, “Many events transpire here, but none of them is significant. Moreover, even when a matter of significance transpires, or a valuable item is discovered, it soon vanishes without a trace. At times, the one responsible for the event or the discovery ultimately realizes its futility himself, while at other times only future generations will arrive at that realization.”

You may ponder what use there is to dig and to leave you to your devices within this concealed world.

However, dear friend, I remind you of the way our fathers, Rabbi Elazar Ha-kappar said: envy, lust, and [the desire for] honor put a man out of the world. The GRA explains these are the qualities of Korach, Bilam, and Cain.

Perhaps let us look at the qualities learned before the revelation, remembrance, and reminder that this entire world is for the world to come—to learn from the internal villains of the Chumash to inform the eternally wise king crowned in the Navi who is able to open to a song of songs.

Greed, you’ve sought more and more haven’t you?

—more validation, more love, more proof that you are worthy.

You’ve chased after the attention, the need to be seen, to be admired.

But in that chase, you’ve also been blind to what you already had, what was real, what was truly yours.

You’ve taken, sometimes without giving back, driven by a hunger that could never be satisfied.

Consider that it’s time to release that grip, to understand that your worth isn’t measured by the attention you gather, but by the love you hold for yourself.

If only.

Self-Interest, you’ve often placed yourself at the center, haven’t you?

You’ve moved through relationships with the thought, “What can I gain? What can I secure for myself? My needs matter more.”

And in doing so, you’ve missed the depth of connection that only comes when you step outside of yourself, when you give without expecting, when you love without calculating the cost.

Consider an invitation to let go of that need to always be at the center. It’s okay to soften, to step aside, to make room for the other, to trust that in giving, you won’t lose yourself.

If only.

Narcissism, oh how you’ve sought the mirror, the reflection of yourself in others, haven’t you?

A fragmented version of yourself though a valid part all the same.

You’ve needed to see yourself as perfect, as the one who is always right, always deserving.

And when that reflection was cracked, when others didn’t give you what you needed, the pain was unbearable, wasn’t it?

It was viscerally devastating to have the variant shards of the fragmented self shatter. The masks of delusion fall when immaturity looks at itself in the mirror.

Consider that it’s time to step away from that fractured mirror, to understand that you are more than just the image you project. You are allowed to be imperfect, flawed, human. There is strength in vulnerability, in showing your cracks, in letting others witness the real you.

If only.

Psychopathy, you’ve been the coldness, the detachment, the part that said, “I don’t care.”

You’ve silenced empathy, pushed away the guilt, and convinced yourself that the rules didn’t apply to you. Remember?

You’ve hurt others, and in doing so, you’ve hurt yourself.

Consider that deep down, there is a heart that longs to feel, to connect, to care. It’s okay to admit that you do care, that the pain you’ve caused others also lingers within you as is the pain that they caused you.

Imagine or pretend it’s okay to soften, to allow empathy to flow back in, to let yourself be moved by the suffering of others, and by your own.

If only.

So, dear Wounded Ego, my friend, my partner for so long in this joint venture & prayer, this is your permission.

Let these parts of you—Greed, Self-Interest, Narcissism, Psychopathy—rest.

Let them mend and end their relentless pursuit of their piece or your peace.

Allow yourself to forgive those who have left you, who have hurt you, who have divorced themselves from your life.

Because you deserve peace, and I am ready to contribute to it.

This is your invitation, your prayer to consolation.

This is my gift, to be a present to you, to remind you of what needs to be done.

To let go, to release the burden, to heal.

Shine a light on these parts of you, not to judge them, but to understand them, to integrate them, to bring them into balance.

And in that balance, find the space to breathe, to live, to love without fear. You are more than your shadows, more than your wounds.

You are whole. You are enough. You are ready to move forward. You are ready to be consoled, with deep compassion and love.

Nachamu,
Your Inner Critic

P.S. Trust is a journey, not a destination. Be patient, dear ones.

P.P.S. Healing and self-discovery continues. If you feel the call to deepen this work, to truly step into the light of your own being, I invite you to join us at the next Hineini Retreat. It’s a sacred space where these shadows can be fully explored, embraced, and transformed. Come, be a part of a community that supports you in this dance of reclamation and renewal. You deserve it.